This week we recast the adaptation of the Dan Brown novel, The DaVinci Code. A really good book that was turned into a pretty good movie. Directed by Ron Howard and starring Tom Hanks, and Audrey Tautou, this movie’s got pretty much everything you want in a big blockbuster, including huge box office sales and poor critical reception. Mike and I continue to ponder Rotten Tomatoes scores that don’t seem to reflect reality. The scores were so low, but the movie made so much money that they made two more! Either most of the people who went hate-watched the movie, or it was a bit better than the score would reflect.
This week we recast Bad Santa, which….wasn’t as bad as I was expecting it to be. This foul-mouthed little chucklehead of a movie somehow hit on a lot of right notes, but also missed drastically on others. To be honest, neither of us were looking forward to this. Bad Santa has been done to death, but it’s literally the only contemporary Christmas movie available on the streaming services. We had the same problem last year when we recast The Santa Clause, although that is way better of a Christmas movie than Bad Santa. Even just the name of this movie bugs me. It’s just stating the obvious, and it feels like no real thought or creativity was used in coming up with it, and that’s kind of what the tone of the movie is. It just exists. There aren’t any highs or lows, it just sits in the pocket and is weird and vulgar for 90 minutes.
Oh man, do we have a huge pile of shit ready for you this week (but I mean that in the best way possible This is a nice piece of shit) Who gots the lighta?
Swordfish is the absolute trainwreck that we are recasting this week. Holy hell. This may be the greatest “on paper” casting that fell to total dogshit that we’ve ever recast (Armageddon notwithstanding). Which would explain why Mike was so good at recasting this. It speaks to him on a purely shitty level that I frankly do not understand. I mean, am I misreading this? Does John Travolta, Huge Ackman, Halle Berry, and Don Cheadle not sound like a great cast for pretty much any movie? I think I might be. Although we’ve already recast movies with these actors in individual roles and have fellated them to completion. It’s gotta be the script. Mike touches upon this in the episode, and it’s the only reasonable explanation left as to why this movie is nearly completely unenjoyable.
So I’m supposed to write a blog about our latest episode where we recast Galaxy Quest. But that’s incredibly hard when I’ve got Chappelle’s Show playing in the background. I could write about Tim Allen and Sigourney Weaver anchoring this meta sci fi classic, but I’m too busy learning about the time Eddie Murphy’s older brother kicked Rick James in the chest. Something, something, Enrico Colantoni absolutely owns this role and you can see the rest of the alien actors following his lead. Whatever, I’m catching up on Wayne Brady doing his best Alonzo Harris impression. Anyone who has been listening lately will appreciate us picking a Sam Rockwell movie where he’s almost inconsequential, even though we try to cast him in everything. Although, there are some people whose lives are irrevocably changed by playing a tiny part in an insanely popular cult sci-fi classic. But don’t take our word for it.
Scott Pilgrim vs the World is an ode to video games, but it barely references any specifically. It’s weird, but it makes the movie feel more “real” in its unique universe. This movie’s outsized budget (85-90 million) doesn’t necessarily show up on the screen, but I say that not trying to take anything away from the movie, which we both really enjoyed talking about and recasting. Edgar Wright does a fine job directing, and Michael Cera is adorable and a total dick at the same time. It didn’t make our jobs easy. It’s a fine line he walks. More than anything, this movie is a great ensemble piece. Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Kieran Culkin, Alison Pill, and Jason Schwartzman all provide some really fun auxiliary performances.