We finally have our first theme week! We are recasting The Lost Boys, the 80’s vampire classic, but we are only allowed to cast with 90’s actors. Not the easiest task when you’ve got legends like Kiefer Sutherland, Jason Patric, and the TwoCoreys involved. In addition to that 80’s royalty, Dianne Wiest is her lovable, hippie self, and Jami Gertz is at her hair-metal-video-style apex. Edward Herrmann also has his nice-guy, single dad next door vibe really working here, until it takes a bit of a turn. We are even gifted with an appearance from Mr. Bill S. Preston, Esq. himself.
This week we recast Raiders of the Lost Ark. Or shall I say Overraters of the Lost Ark. I feel like I’m in They Live, where I’m the only one who can see that the Indiana Jones movies are trash, and Harrison Ford is a crappy actor with absolutely no range. They aren’t interesting, there’s no substance, and half of this movie is chase scenes that feel like something out of The Three Stooges or Benny Hill. Now after having rewatched this movie, I came to the revelation that this was really a movie for kids. This is not some grand action and adventure movie, it’s a movie for kids that feels very much like it was filmed on location at a Disneyworld attraction.
The deliciously 90’s classic Hackers is on tap for this week’s episode. We’re talking rollerblades, techno, dial-up modems, and 30 year olds playing teenagers. This movie has it all. It was the major feature debut of Jonny Lee Miller (Dade Murphy / Zero Cool / Crash Override), Angelina Jolie (Kate / Acid Burn), and Matthew Lillard (Cereal Killer). Seeing as these are all of the starring roles, we have one question; WHERE THE FUCK DID THE $20 MILLION BUDGET GO TO? We think it’s got to be the “cool hacker CGI” effects, but I’m pretty sure there’s somebody walking around with at least 5 mil in their pocket. Although…on reflection, I bet one of the producers realized this was going to be a flop really early on and started siphoning money off to recoup what they were absolutely going to lose (and did).
A Knight’s Tale was the big coming out party for Heath Ledger as he had really not done much before this other than 10 Things I Hate About You, which seems really strange because what is essentially a sports movie about a sport that hasn’t been seriously played for hundreds of years is not exactly the formula for a break out, but that’s exactly what happened. He’s undeniably charming, his acting is solid, and you can tell that he did a lot of the stunts himself, which definitely adds to the entertainment factor.