This week, we recast Law Abiding Citizen. We’ve had this on our list for quite some time, even though I had very little interest in it. However, Mike finally talked me into it, and I gotta say, I enjoyed it way more than I ever expected to. I had seen it before and I definitely didn’t like it all that much. Now that I’ve given the movie its due credit, it is severely flawed. Maybe the biggest of all being the acting. Gerard Butler was actually pretty good, but that’s about it. Jamie Foxx might be one of the most Jekyll and Hyde actors ever. If he’s not into the project, then it really shows on screen. Unfortunately, this was one of those movies. Even some of our favorite That Guys, Colm Meaney and Bruce McGill mail it in a bit. Some of the other That Guys do bring more to the screen, as I’ll throw Annie Corley and Richard Portnow a little love. And poor Leslie Bibb, she was completely out of her depth with that character, but that wasn’t her fault. She should never have been cast in the first place.
This week we recast the adaptation of the Dan Brown novel, The DaVinci Code. A really good book that was turned into a pretty good movie. Directed by Ron Howard and starring Tom Hanks, and Audrey Tautou, this movie’s got pretty much everything you want in a big blockbuster, including huge box office sales and poor critical reception. Mike and I continue to ponder Rotten Tomatoes scores that don’t seem to reflect reality. The scores were so low, but the movie made so much money that they made two more! Either most of the people who went hate-watched the movie, or it was a bit better than the score would reflect.
Oh man, do we have a huge pile of shit ready for you this week (but I mean that in the best way possible This is a nice piece of shit) Who gots the lighta?
Swordfish is the absolute trainwreck that we are recasting this week. Holy hell. This may be the greatest “on paper” casting that fell to total dogshit that we’ve ever recast (Armageddon notwithstanding). Which would explain why Mike was so good at recasting this. It speaks to him on a purely shitty level that I frankly do not understand. I mean, am I misreading this? Does John Travolta, Huge Ackman, Halle Berry, and Don Cheadle not sound like a great cast for pretty much any movie? I think I might be. Although we’ve already recast movies with these actors in individual roles and have fellated them to completion. It’s gotta be the script. Mike touches upon this in the episode, and it’s the only reasonable explanation left as to why this movie is nearly completely unenjoyable.
Martin Scorsese’s psychological thriller Shutter Island is the movie we recast this week. Leonardo Dicaprio stars in this mind bending story of Teddy Daniels, a federal marshall tasked with investigating Ashecliffe Hospital for the Criminally insane, getting to the bottom of the case of the missing prisoner patient Rachel Solando. Mark Ruffalo plays his partner/doctor. Along the way we find out that this whole “case” was a put on by Dr. Cawley (Ben Kingsley), in an attempt to shock him into admitting that he was also a prisoner patient at the facility and that he had killed his wife (Michelle Williams).
You know, sometimes things don’t always work out the way you planned them. Sometimes it ends up going to shit, but if you are broadcast masters like us, you just find a way to pump out unbelievable content regardless of the circumstances. The universe gifted us a last minute rescheduling, and we decided to do a Quick Cast. Which leads us to our movie this week, Stigmata. This was pretty clearly Patricia Arquette’s best work, and she had some weird chemistry with Gabriel Byrne, which just works somehow. Billy Corgan provides the music (along with some very special friends that we talk about in detail during the pod), and Mike channels his inner holy spirit and crushes the games segment of the show.