This week we recast Raiders of the Lost Ark. Or shall I say Overraters of the Lost Ark. I feel like I’m in They Live, where I’m the only one who can see that the Indiana Jones movies are trash, and Harrison Ford is a crappy actor with absolutely no range. They aren’t interesting, there’s no substance, and half of this movie is chase scenes that feel like something out of The Three Stooges or Benny Hill. Now after having rewatched this movie, I came to the revelation that this was really a movie for kids. This is not some grand action and adventure movie, it’s a movie for kids that feels very much like it was filmed on location at a Disneyworld attraction.
This week, we have a very important episode*. The Untouchables is a film that we’ve been trying to recast for a while. The first time we tried to recast it, the movie had dropped off the streaming services 6 hours earlier. Once we found out it was available again, we pounced on the opportunity. Except…..I had water pooling in my basement (every homeowner’s nightmare) and had to postpone the recording by several hours. We barely made it through the first segment or so, until I’m pretty sure Mike actually fell asleep. However, we regrouped and recorded a really fun pod last night.
The movie itself is a total classic, although I was personally disappointed by the music. It happened to be nominated for the Best Music Oscar, but I still call “bullshit”, it’s not good.
Set at the turn of the century, prohibition laws are driving the showdown between Eliot Ness (Kevin Costner) and Al Capone (Robert De Niro). Sean Connery delivers as the “beat cop who’s seen everything” role. As far as those roles go, I really think this is one of them that is to be judged against all future ones. Connery crushes this (see the “that’s the Chicago WAY!” and the “That endeth the lesson” speeches). There are also some surprisingly fun performances by Charles Martin Smith (who is third billed!), Billy Drago (at creepy as ever), and Patricia Clarkson, who I’m usually not a fan of, but does a great job with this role.
* It’s really not important at all.
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This week we dive head first into one of the most ridiculous of the Nicolas Cage films (and that’s saying something), Face/Off. In addition to a rousing Cage performance, we have John Travolta doing a Cage impression for half of the movie, and it is glorious. John Woo is at his John Wooest. GREAT score by John Powell. This has all the makings of a classic action film, and nobody talks about it.
Inside Man, the least Spike Lee movie of all Spike Lee movies is our target for this week. I’m still trying to hunt down the dick that spoiled this move for me a few years ago, but given that, I still enjoyed it immensely. Denzel Denzel’s the Denzel out of his role. Clive Owen Clive Owen’s the Clive Owen out of this role. And Jodie Foster…well…she Foster’s the Foster out of this role. With all of these great actors really working with there material, there’s Willem Dafoe, who basically plays the least charismatic role of his career, which is kind of jarring amid all of these stellar performances. It feels like a missed opportunity. But Christopher Plummer makes up for it.
This week we go to Mars, bitches. That’s right. Mars with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Total Recall is the target of the pod, so get ready for an episode that is OUT OF THIS WORLD.
(Mike, I don’t like these new rules that I have to include a dad joke in the blog posts)
Set in the year 2084, this Phillip K. Dick inspired movie also stars Rachel Ticotin, Ronny Cox, Michael Ironside and Sharon Stone in hear breakout role. Director Paul Verhoven was so impressed with Stone’s ability to go from sweet to murderous psycho, and back again that he cast her in the starring role of his follow up film, Basic Instinct. Verhoven and Schwarzenegger almost crossed paths once before, with Arnold slated to play RoboCop. Due to various issues, he never made it into the film, but he was so impressed with the final product that he wanted to work with him on his next project, and that ended up being Total Recall.