I’m sorry, did the universe think that we weren’t going to put out a podcast this week? From car accidents, to work emergencies, to Mike’s laptop getting fried and me having to learn how to edit a 3 hour shitshow into the hilarious, beautiful, tight 2:15 that this episode I have bestowed upon you all. We were NOT going to let anything get in the way of delivering the entertainment that we have promised you.
This week’s episode is Con Air. The Nicolas Cage classic that may or may not have aged particularly well, depending on who you ask. Cage plays Cameron Poe, a newly released felon who is just hitchin’ a ride on a plane with the most dangerous group of murderers and rapists in the country. I guess my question is, did he HAVE to take that ride? If he was released, then wouldn’t you think they would at least give him the option of taking a normal plane home? This is a take that I really, really wish I thought of during the show. I spent 20 hours on this episode between pre and post production, and I have my best idea now. Faaaaaannnnntastic.
The Crow is the 1994 neo-noir fantasy film based off of the 1989 comic book series by James O’Barr. Contrary to popular belief, The Crow is not played by Brandon Lee, who tragically died during the filming of the movie. The Crow is played by an actual crow, well…not any actual crows. Only ravens were used in the movie. The idea is that the crow is supernatural. Brandon Lee plays Eric Draven, an innocent young man who is brought back to life by the mysterious Crow one year after him and his wife are brutally murdered. From there it’s a full-on revenge story.
Bad Boys, baby. Bad Boys for lyfe. The movie that was based off of the 1987 Inner Circle hit song. Or maybe not. Honestly, I can barely understand anything they are singing outside of the chorus, so it could be about Shakespeare for all I know. Either way, the song is catchy as shit, and so is this movie. This was the first film Will Smith did since his big screen debut in Six Degrees of Separation. Up until this point, he was always funny and cool, but this was the first thing to solidify him as a total badass as well. He then went on to make Independence Day the next summer, and Men in Black the summer after that. Hell of a start to a movie career.
This week we recast Raiders of the Lost Ark. Or shall I say Overraters of the Lost Ark. I feel like I’m in They Live, where I’m the only one who can see that the Indiana Jones movies are trash, and Harrison Ford is a crappy actor with absolutely no range. They aren’t interesting, there’s no substance, and half of this movie is chase scenes that feel like something out of The Three Stooges or Benny Hill. Now after having rewatched this movie, I came to the revelation that this was really a movie for kids. This is not some grand action and adventure movie, it’s a movie for kids that feels very much like it was filmed on location at a Disneyworld attraction.
This week, we have a very important episode*. The Untouchables is a film that we’ve been trying to recast for a while. The first time we tried to recast it, the movie had dropped off the streaming services 6 hours earlier. Once we found out it was available again, we pounced on the opportunity. Except…..I had water pooling in my basement (every homeowner’s nightmare) and had to postpone the recording by several hours. We barely made it through the first segment or so, until I’m pretty sure Mike actually fell asleep. However, we regrouped and recorded a really fun pod last night.
The movie itself is a total classic, although I was personally disappointed by the music. It happened to be nominated for the Best Music Oscar, but I still call “bullshit”, it’s not good.
Set at the turn of the century, prohibition laws are driving the showdown between Eliot Ness (Kevin Costner) and Al Capone (Robert De Niro). Sean Connery delivers as the “beat cop who’s seen everything” role. As far as those roles go, I really think this is one of them that is to be judged against all future ones. Connery crushes this (see the “that’s the Chicago WAY!” and the “That endeth the lesson” speeches). There are also some surprisingly fun performances by Charles Martin Smith (who is third billed!), Billy Drago (at creepy as ever), and Patricia Clarkson, who I’m usually not a fan of, but does a great job with this role.
* It’s really not important at all.
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