Two Man Round Table Part 5: Movies that Couldn’t be Made Today

movies you can't make_2

Welcome back to the second installment of The Recasting Couch Roundtable series. Last year, we tackled all of the reboots and remakes and how Hollywood is running out of ideas. This week, we talk about the classic movies that could never be made today. We go on a little bit of a tear to start this one off, but once we settle in we have some fun discussing some of our absolute favorites and how they couldn’t get remade today without drastically changing it. Which is probably a good thing. Many of these movies are perfect as they are and are still incredibly rewatchable to this day.

Two Man Round Table Part 4: Best Picture 1995

academy awards

We’re back with another installment of The Recasting Couch Two Man Roundtable series! We’ve got some fun topics planned for this year. This week is breaking down the Best Picture race at the 1995 Oscars. It came down to Pulp Fiction, Forrest Gump, Shawshank Redemption, Quiz Show, and Four Weddings and a Funeral. Forrest Gump was the victor that night, and we break each of the movies down and talk about the acting, directing, writing, casting, and music to try to determine if the correct call was made by the academy. Not an easy call with three bonafide all-time movies, and one that might be in the conversation if it had a little more staying power.

The Recasting Couch Ep. 77: Bad Santa

da vinci code

This week we recast the adaptation of the Dan Brown novel, The DaVinci Code. A really good book that was turned into a pretty good movie. Directed by Ron Howard and starring Tom Hanks, and Audrey Tautou, this movie’s got pretty much everything you want in a big blockbuster, including huge box office sales and poor critical reception. Mike and I continue to ponder Rotten Tomatoes scores that don’t seem to reflect reality. The scores were so low, but the movie made so much money that they made two more! Either most of the people who went hate-watched the movie, or it was a bit better than the score would reflect.

The Recasting Couch Ep. 77: Bad Santa

bad santa

This week we recast Bad Santa, which….wasn’t as bad as I was expecting it to be. This foul-mouthed little chucklehead of a movie somehow hit on a lot of right notes, but also missed drastically on others. To be honest, neither of us were looking forward to this. Bad Santa has been done to death, but it’s literally the only contemporary Christmas movie available on the streaming services. We had the same problem last year when we recast The Santa Clause, although that is way better of a Christmas movie than Bad Santa. Even just the name of this movie bugs me. It’s just stating the obvious, and it feels like no real thought or creativity was used in coming up with it, and that’s kind of what the tone of the movie is. It just exists. There aren’t any highs or lows, it just sits in the pocket and is weird and vulgar for 90 minutes.

The Recasting Couch Ep. 76: Swordfish

Swordfish

 

Oh man, do we have a huge pile of shit ready for you this week (but I mean that in the best way possible This is a nice piece of shit) Who gots the lighta?

Swordfish is the absolute trainwreck that we are recasting this week. Holy hell. This may be the greatest “on paper” casting that fell to total dogshit that we’ve ever recast (Armageddon notwithstanding). Which would explain why Mike was so good at recasting this. It speaks to him on a purely shitty level that I frankly do not understand. I mean, am I misreading this? Does John Travolta, Huge Ackman, Halle Berry, and Don Cheadle not sound like a great cast for pretty much any movie? I think I might be. Although we’ve already recast movies with these actors in individual roles and have fellated them to completion. It’s gotta be the script. Mike touches upon this in the episode, and it’s the only reasonable explanation left as to why this movie is nearly completely unenjoyable.